I don't now where to start. Everything is such a mess. I cry, eat, puke and starve. My ED has taken totally control over me again. I'm so depressed and all I want to do is to die. I want to comit suicide but I'm such a coward.

It's so hard to me to explain everything that is going on in my life, I don't think I know it myself. I just exist. My head is like cotton, and my body is so weak. I can't go up the stairs withous getting breathless. And I was in such a good fit before. I was an active football-player and orienteer. What happend to me? What have I done to myself.

On Tuesday it's first day of school after tjis summer-vacation, and I'm scared stiff. What will people say? "look at that fatso"? I have gained so much weigth, my BMI is up to 16.1 now. Thats fucking much. I'm fat fat FAT!

Anyway, gtg... It's late.

-Nemi-

Gwen > I'm so glad ur home and doing well. So proud of u hun!!!

Hilde > Kommer til å skrive mail til deg, og satte skikkelig stor pris på beskjeden i gjesteboken, men akkurat nå orker jeg ikke. Snakkes!

before - after

© Nemi 2002/2003